


"This sucks!"

by nimrod262



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Airports, Fluff and Humor, Frustration, Holidays, Innuendo, M/M, Nivanfield, The High Life - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 08:59:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15882822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nimrod262/pseuds/nimrod262
Summary: It’s the start of Chris and Piers’ holiday.  It doesn’t begin well, Piers is already missing Ruff, and then there are the queues.  But when they meet ‘Jack' things suddenly start to look a whole lot better.





	"This sucks!"

**Author's Note:**

> A couple of weeks ago I flew back to the UK on some family business. I wrote down my departure lounge and travelling experiences during the flight as a Nivanfield short.

 

"This sucks!" The hazel eyes flashed angrily and the full lips formed into a pout as he sat down next to the gently snoring man sprawled over the uncomfortable plastic bench seat.

 Brown eyes opened instantly from their catnap and blinked as they re-adjusted to the harsh florescent lighting in the airport departure lounge. "What sucks?"

"This, all of it!" up-raised hands and arms indicated the entirety of the place. "There was a queue for coffee. A queue for food. A queue for the can. Why are they always being cleaned right when I want to use them? There's probably a queue for the queue. I hate these places, traveling cattle class. Give me an airbase and the back of a C-17 or a Fat Albert any-day. There's more room and less hassle."

 "Flight attendants are not so cute though."

 "That's a matter of opinion, I prefer a man in uniform."

 "Flight attendants wear uniform."

 "You know what I mean."

 "Hmm, I wonder sometimes Nivans. Ha, ha!"

 "Chris! There's kids around." Piers stood up again, craning his neck.

 "Hordes of the things." said Chris resignedly. "Anyway, you started it! Just sit down and relax Ace."

 "I wanna' see when our gate's open."

 "Chill, we've got an hour, there's plenty of time."

 "Why didn't we upgrade?"

 "We agreed to spend money during the holiday, not on the getting there."

 "Well we will next time! I should have pulled some strings. I'm surprised you didn't."

 "Piers, that's not how we work! Remember how you used to get annoyed with public servants getting perks and abusing their position?"

 "Pftt! Now I know why they did it."

 “Well  _we_ don't. I've learnt how to be ethical from you, don't let me down  _Sensei_."

 Piers smiled. "I'm sorry Babe. This is the start of our holiday, I shouldn't be so grumpy."

 "It's alright Ace. You missing the Ruffster? He'll be Ok with Finn and Danny. It'll be like a holiday for him too."

 "Yeah, I know. I must be getting old, I just wanna' stay at home with you these days."

 "We can do that right now, walk straight back to the car park and drive home. If it's what you truly want."

 "No. This holiday is for you too Bear. You need a break."

 "We both do. Here, have a sandwich, that'll cheer you up."

 "I wondered what you'd got in your man-bag, or is it a tote-bag these days?"

 "It's not a man-bag, or any sort of 'bag' for that matter. It's a tactical grip!"

 "That would explain the camouflage."

 "Ha, ha, ha!"

 "Ssh, you'll have security over!"

 "That'd be fun, more men in uniform for you. Would you look after my six?"

 "More likely pour oil on troubled water."

 "You skilled diplomat you."

 "Don't! I want to forget Washington and politics for two weeks."

 "Things are quiet, our deputies know what they're doing."

 "I should hope so! No one is indispensable in the BSAA."

 "You are, to me."

 "That's different."

 "Perhaps. A lot of people look up to you now Piers. _You_ are the BSAA for the new kids."

 "Like you were for me Babe. Like you still are."

 "That makes me feel old....Damnit, I am old!"

 "No, not old. Hmm, more...seasoned."

 "You make me sound like a piece of lumber."

 "All bark and full of sap?"

 "And the sap's rising. Grrr!"

 "Steady Bearfield, this is a public place. Wait till we're in our cabana tonight."

 "Do we get room service?"

 "Of course, why?"

 "Cos' we're not gonna' be leaving it much."

 "But I wanna' explore the island. We've hired a car remember."

 "Pah! Palm trees, sand, and more palm trees. See one island, you've seen them all."

 "There's old forts and...."

 "Old farts?"

 "No, Forts! Behave! And the harbor."

 "What side of the road do they drive on?"

 "The wrong side, on the left."

 "Weird."

 "It's a relic of Empire."

 "They didn't have cars back then!"

 "Back when you were a boy."

 "Oi, I might be old, but I'm not a relic! That's one less hug you get now."

 "Are they rationed these days?"

 "Might be."

 "Don't worry old timer, I understand." Piers grinned. "Gotta' conserve your energy now you're past your prime."

 "You're not too old yourself to put over my knee you know!"

 "Ooh, promises, promises! And I thought we were having a relaxing holiday."

 "We will....you will, I'll make sure of that. We'll cancel the car and use taxis instead. That way we'll get to meet the locals and put money in their pockets rather than some rip-off global car rental company."

 "Oh! Very ethical."

 "And we'll have one day exploring then one day relaxing, and so on. And the nights.....the nights will be ours. Just you and me.....and room service."

 "Oh again. You've got this all planned haven't you?"

 "I'm good....."

 "....at plans. Yeah, you have said that once or twice."

 "You need a break Piers. I'm your No.2. It's my duty to make sure you get one."

 "Oh boy! That sounds familiar, talk about deja vu."

 "Well now it's your turn to be deja'd, capiche?"

 "Yes Captain. Thank you Captain."

 "You can thank me in the appropriate manner later. Grrrr."

 "Woof! Ah, at last, our flight's up. C'mon Babe, let's go."

 "Fly United?"

 "Later Zoomie. For now we'll follow the herd."

 "Herd?"

 "You know. Herd, cattle, cattle class."

 "Was that supposed to be a joke?"

 "Um, yeah."

 "Dreadful, I get the feeling it's gonna' be a long flight."

 "Ok, you do the jokes and I'll be the canned laughter."

 "That would work." Chris licked his lips. "Mmm....cans....rations. I wonder what they've got to eat on board?"

 "Not enough for you I'm sure!"

 "I'll give the flight attendant lady my best 'little boy lost' smile. It always works, charms the pants off 'em."

 "Supposing it's a guy?"

 "Still works. Ha! Ooh! I wonder if they'll let me on the flight-deck? Perhaps they'll let me pole it for a while?"

 "Chris! This isn't some Company C-21 you can throw around the sky like an F-15."

 "Oh, you heard about that?"

 "Everybody heard once Andy Walker found out. It was one of the first things Dee warned me of about you."

 "Me?!"

 "Yes, you! And your ad-hoc air displays. He also gave me a list of Federal Aviation Authority contact numbers in case of any future misbehavior."

 "I resemble that. I'm deeply hurt." Chris made a face.

 "Don't pout, that's my thing."

 "Sorry, it's catching. Everyone at HQ's doing it these days. Can I do the eye thingy then?"

 "NO!"

 "Alright."

 "Er, everyone?"

 "Pretty much. Think of it as a sign of affectation."

 "Don't you mean affection?"

 Chris scratched his head nervously. "Er, um, I might."

 "Argh! Listen, NO flying and definitely NO taking the pants off the cabin crew...."

 "Aww, but..."

 "....of either sex!"

 "Don't stress! Jeez, you _do_ need a holiday."

 "That's why we're here, remember? C'mon, Gate 31. Got your boarding pass?"

 "Yup, seat 17B. Why do you always pick seats 17A and B? Is it some sorta' good luck thing, like your shemagh?"

 "Don't you remember? That flight from San Diego."

 "Oh yeah, of course! That takes me back, you stealing glances at my reflection in the window."

 Piers laughed. "I still do. And you, smelling sweet and so smokin' hot."

 "Still am."

 "Wooof!"

 "Grrrr!"

 They shared a brief, and rare, public kiss.

 "Uh-oh!" Chris whispered in Piers' ear. "I think there's just been a spillage in aisle 17. All this woofing and grrring is getting me over excited."

 "Christopher! Really?" Piers giggled, blushing brightly. "Sorta' pre-flight-cum check? Heh, heh. You want me to help you clean-up?"

 "Jeez Piers, just the thought of that makes me...ahh....Oh boy, major spillage!"

 "Promotion and a new nickname."

 "Huh? Oh, yeah, Major. Ha, ha, ha! That wasn't bad for you."

 "I must be relaxing already. Looks like the holiday's starting out just as you planned it. Now there's a first, heh, heh!"

 "Hey, don't get cocky Ace! It was only one semi-decent joke.....Um, so where was the John?"

 "Just follow the queue Babe."

 ************************

Bing-bong, Bing-bong! The chimes cut through Piers' reverie. "Er, Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the Second Officer speaking. We're um, now established in the cruise. You may unfasten your seat belts and er, feel free to move about the cabin now....or not. Thank you."

 'Sounds like a rookie...' thought Piers. '.....still you gotta' start sometime. Just like I did once.' He looked at the reflection of his dozing partner in the window and smiled. Chris' large hand was still wrapped reassuringly around his own, as it had been since take-off.

 He sensed, rather than saw the presence of someone else and turned around. A fresh-faced young flight attendant had stopped at their row. Short, curly black hair and a cute, freckled, button nose complemented his rosy coloring. He coughed politely, if somewhat nervously.

 "Er, Mr Nivans and Mr Redfield?"

 Chris woke up as Piers looked over, and took in the new view. "Yes?"

 The attendant bent low and whispered. "Um, _Captain_ Nivans and _Captain_ Redfield...of the BSAA?"

 Piers whispered back, a twinkle in his eyes. "Still yes."

 Chris mumbled something about uniforms and pants, making the attendant's cheeks redden even more. "Shut up Bear!" Piers hissed. He smiled at the young man. "Sorry, please excuse my colleague, he's on holiday. Do go on."

 "Er, Captain's compliments, um, my Captain that is. Would you like to move to the Club Section forward and up the stairs?"

 Piers looked at Chris who was now wide awake. "Would you?"

 "You betcha!"

 "What happened to high moral standards in office?"

 "Screw 'em."

 The attendant blushed furiously.

 Piers looked at the young man's name-tag and tried pouring the oil over the troubled water. "Uh, don't mind him...Jack...Who is _your_ Captain?" Piers flashed a devastating smile.

 "Er, Captain Richards Sir." said Jack, reciprocating Piers' smile with a rather cute one of his own, he had dimples.

 "Not old Bob Richards?" said Chris.

 "Yes Sir. How did you know?"

 "He's ex-BSAA. Left a year ago."

 "OMG! He's gonna' let you fly isn't he?" Piers suddenly went pale as Jack ushered them forwards.

 "Ha, with any luck! Come on Ace, let's not keep the Captain waiting."

 The upper-deck lounge was virtually empty. A familiar figure strode towards Chris, his hand outstretched.

 "Redwing, Piers! I was going through the passenger list, thought I recognized your surnames."

 "Bob old buddy!" Chris enveloped him in a bearhug. "Well, well, I heard you'd gone civilian. Beats flying C-17s and C-21s I'll bet."

 "Ha, ha! Decided I needed a quieter life. Well, she who must be obeyed did. Truth is, I miss the variety, the excitement...."

 "The crazy passengers?" added Piers, looking at Chris and grinning.

 "Hmm, those not so much, but the pay's better. Listen, I can't stay long; my co-pilot's so wet behind the ears he's still got water wings, heh, heh! But come up for a look-see later. In the meantime please make yourselves at home here, compliments of the Company. Oh, by the way, what were you doing in cattle class anyway? Are you two traveling incognito, or on a mission or something?"

 "Good question Bob. It's just a holiday. But Piers _here_ doesn't like making a fuss....do you?" Piers _there_ rolled his eyes.

 "Traveling economy was more a matter of ethics....." Chris looked at Piers who was already scrutinizing the Club Class lunch menu. "....um, but I think they've just flown out the window......"

 .......They sat back in their recliners, each savoring the pre-lunch aperitif Jack had just served them.

 "For something that sucks, you gotta' admit this is pretty cool Piers."

 "I can't believe it Babe, you and me sipping champagne cocktails, flying Club, we really are on holiday. I'm sorry for being so uptight earlier."

 "No probs Ace, besides, you deserve it. Cheers." Chris raised his glass.

 Piers responded. "And you too Babe. To happy holidays"

 "Happy holidays. Just the two of us, chillin' out for the summer."

 "And Jack?" Piers raised an eyebrow.

 "Only for the next six hours. Two's company, three's a crowd." Chris grinned. "I want you all to myself this vacation."

 "Roger that! Next time perhaps?"

 "Nope, some things only ever need two."

 "You mean Woof?"

 "I do indeed. Grrr!"


End file.
